Deep Conversations

I have negative connotations towards the color orange because it is the main color of my teams' biggest sports rivals: The SF Giants, The Houston Astros, and Oklahoma State University.

The Giants made history when they hired former Softball star Alyssa Nakken. She became MLB's first female coach back in January. It seems that Manager Kapler hired her to make amends for his terrible handling of previous sexual assault allegations in 2015. I think there are plenty of women who are qualified for jobs like this, and I hate that the Giants were the first to do it. But she made her first base coaching debut at the start of this weird 2020 season and I can't help but wonder, would they have put her in that spot if this wasn't a COVID year? Although, maybe it's a positive that there aren't any fans, b/c I can just imagine the heckling that would have been sent her way. Maybe this is a chance for her presence to be normalized.

As for the Astros, it's a bummer that no fans are going to be able to boo and heckle them this year. I still think Manfred didn't do enough either before or after the scandal broke, and I think that has a lot to do with how much the public was enjoying the meteoric rise of the Astros. They had a killer line-up, so I can't help but think they could have been successful without all the cheating. The MLB owners and players should really care more about addressing drug use and other cheating in the league, or address the rules themselves. It's not fair if rules exist that are not enforced. I think the Astros should have been suspended for the year (although that wouldn't have amounted to as much damage this year). This season they are sort of sliding on past their scandal, although I don't think the public will forget so easily.

There's a dark cloud over opening day... I'm not even sure I can watch the A's play, given how utterly depressing it is to see the Coliseum so empty. I am sort of hoping sports can bring just a little bit of joy to people's lives. I'm just not sure I can forget about the state of the world while watching the game, the way I used to in all the seasons prior to this one.

This past year I've really been devoted to improving the lives of my clients, or at least being compassionate. I'm getting much better at dealing with compassion fatigue, and taking time out for myself (and setting more boundaries). These are still areas I'm going to improve on this year, but I'm definitely a much more competent attorney than I was a year ago. I also am really great about asking questions and staying humble (but this is the year I'm going to be proud of what I do!).

As for fandom, I think I'm good at focusing on one project at a time and writing on a deadline. This past year I learned that it's okay to delete and start over when I come up with a much better direction for the characters - and that's made me more thoughtful as a writer. I'm more willing to take on bigger projects than I was a year ago.

And here are my three favorite fics from the past year:

•Pretty Convincing for Fake Husbands (Gen), MCU, Steve/Tony
Crack treated seriously is one of my favorite tropes, and I really like how I finally made this plot work. Plus I love a Steve and Tony that are tentative and awkward around each other.

•Knock Once, Knock Twice (Explicit), Turn (TV), Benjamin/Caleb
My first magical realism fic and also I tried the non-linear thing. I still like the mystical flow of this one.

•To Answer His Crown Prince's Request (Explicit), Original Male Asian Character/Original Male Asian Character
My first original fic that I actually liked! I had a blast doing research for this, and I feel like it brings something unique to the table.